Dezzixdeathwishmcrprincess' Journals

Life Lessons.

I've become too comfortable with everything,i get caught up,and then i forget to look at whats really there.

I'm afraid to commit,and give my heart to someone,they will do what everyone else did,they dropped me like nothing...like i meant nothing

I'm afraid to Bend and Break....to shatter with everything i'am.

So Let's all fake the feelings,let's fuck with the feeling's like we all do sometimes to get our way,we cheat with someone elses feelings and don't realize how much it hurts...in school today,two of my best friends held each other and cried over guys who don't deserve chicas as good as them...they stood and cried for awhile and they came to grips and said they needed to be strong and keep it together for themselves....

The One You Love Should Be The One Who Is Worth Your Tears,But The One You Love ALSO Shouldn't Make You Cry.

I'm Tired of people moping and whining,i'm tired of people saying my week has beein fucked up,i hate my life!!" lalalala,fuck that!! My WHOLE life has been fucked up,but do you see me bawlingg my eyes out? no!!! they don't even know real pain,feelings,emotions,nothing!!

This should be the year when EVERYONE learns to Grow Up,and learn how to deal.

You May Fall,But Staying Down Isn't An Option, It shouldn't be.With the scars and beating we've all taken,it's enough,time for you and everyone to say "STOP!! That's Enough!!"

We sometimes are too generous,we forget about ourselves,and someone close to me helped me see that.Open Your Eyes Today,and do something for You(:

A Cholas Prayer.(:

O Lord bless me and my carnales when we be out makin males.
Bless our bloody fists that tend to fight,
keep them out of piggies sight.
Forgive our soul when they turn cold,
for you Lord,
are the only hand we hold.
Forgive us when we be out making noise,
keep them from them deadly toys.
I mean them glocks and nines,
cuz with a blink of an eye another homie dies.
Bless us Lord when were feeling blue,
remember what we do we do it for you.
Forgive us when we party and get drunk.
Forgive us when we act like punks.
Bless our family's who worry every night,
when us chavalos drink and fight.
Watch over my carnales up above,
who I will never forget and always love.

Pura chicana

This is the way it is,i just wanna say Rest.In.Peace homies from K-Town.always remember home.

I'll See All You Homito's and Homita's At The Gates. -Dezzi Baby(:

oh shitt. :O

i kinda feel like no one wants me here :( i understand. and it's ok that you feel that way.i don't even wanna be me right now.I've already been beaten by this years events,my parents,sorry i let y'all down.IDK whats been with me.

I'm in BIG trouble already.with school,friends,and some of my friends dying :O as if things weren't BAD enough.i did something in school thats "BAD!!" but yea,it's sooooo "BAD!!" that now i have to be escorted by security everywhere i go.haha(: i've been sent to the principal over 10 times this week.

i've been thinking alot and i've come to this result...I DON'T WANNA GROW-UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! D: cuz then i gotta move-out,retire,get old and then DIE :O i don't wanna die.i just feel like i'll never have enough time for anything.i miss having it easy,fun,and chill.now i have to get old and die. :( noooo!!!

I've noticed everything is falling apart.my family,friends,school,and everything.I keep having Nightmares.i cried myself to sleep last night.i had a dream my mom died,then my dad and everyone i know died and then i was the only one left and i had to die alone,and no one came to my funeral!! i have no clue whats wrong with me.i wish i had no drama right now of all times,it had to be now didn't it? grrrr. and for the hopefully final add.

I Wish i didn't have to add to this list:

R.I.P. Tio Elias

R.I.P. Grandpa Manuel

R.I.P. Grandpa Filiberto

R.I.P. Sammy (passed away on my b-day.july 23rd)

R.I.P. Temo... (passed away a few days ago.)

R.I.P. Jacob Hale

R.I.P. Jacob Haleok so today at glencoe i received some news of the suicide of Jacob Hale,beloved son,bff and inspiration to me and all others.

what sucks is that his best friend found his body....he was missing for 2 days,and his parents reported him as missing,on the night of his death,Jacob drove out to North Plains and shot himself (i'm trying to keep from crying)

tomorrow Glencoe High School will be doing their night Football Game in Honor of Jacob.Glencoe Tide better fucking win for him!!!!!! One of the teachers who knew jacob was crying his effin eyes out.today the teachers allowed the students to go to the library to let out their emotions.while many students went they sat for 90 minutes of agony is hopes that jacob is in a better place.

Everyone misses you Honey,Loves you,cares for you and wants nothing more than for you to come back.

in our hearts forever(:

Rest.In.Peace Baby. go glencoe tide kill tomorrow night!!!!!! much love-Dezzi

awwh shitt.

this is so weird...i miss being with someone,maybe not someone in particular,but i miss the feeling of someone hands enter-twined with mine :O awkward huh? i still haven't had the one who lights up everything.or makes me feel happy in my own skin,and i miss that,do you understand? i want someone to be there for me and only me

being with someone isn't EVERYTHING!! but i miss the feeling of being the one for someone else.it made me happy to make someone else happy.it made me joyful to tell someone i love you(: or give them hugs and just say that i never want to lose them,no matter what.it makes me sad,i want a significant other now D': anywhoozers....it's just something on my mind.

i want to say i love you,i wanna hug you and be the one to call you baby(:

My Last Day Of Summer D:

Ok first day of school tomorrow :O i'm so ready to see my friends (i ran into my bff at albertsons today) hahaha she was getting a shitt-load of make-up.....uhhhhhhhhh? Ihope i don't get detention tomorrow (on my first day would be horrible) friggin Ruben (tard) took me to lunch today and we had a deep conversation of us resisting arrest when we're in Klamath!! hah (drunk) our peeps did NOT pull out the knife first alright?!! :P ok wish me luck tomorrow,cross ur fingers and say "dezzi plz stay outta trouble(it's hard fer me not to yell at teachers :/) -Dezzi Baby(:

Whoa!!!! Summer 09'

summer 09' bitches(:

"We're crashing cars we used to share
with summer girls
with summer hair
we're making plans for you to start
but the party's busted up
before it even starts

i'll never let you go
it's not over yet
tell me you'll remember
forever young
i'll never let you go
it's not over yet
you and me forever
forever young
we're forever young

stop making plans, start making sense
don't you believe a word they said
i got sparked up like a book of matches
falling through the night
rising from the ashes

i'll never let you go
it's not over yet
tell me you'll remember
forever young
i'll never let you go
it's not over yet
you and me forever
forever young
we're forever young

don't come any closer
don't tell me it's over
don't kiss me goodbye
here we are, am i taking this too hard?
don't say that it's easy
The hardest part is leaving
don't you wonder why...
suddenly, we're all walking out

i'll never let you go
don't ever forget
tell me you'll remember
forever young
i'll never let you go
it's not over yet
you and me forever
forever young
we're forever young
we're forever young
we're forever young"

-Song:Summer Hair=Forever Young

By:The Academy Is...

-Dezzi Baby summer 09' (:

Remember This(:

"Lollipops turn into cigarettes.

The innocent ones turn into sluts.

Homework goes in the trash.

Cell phones are being used in class.

Detention becomes suspension.

Soda becomes vodka.

Bikes become cars.

Kisses turn into sex.

Rememberï»¿ when getting high meant swinging on the playground?

When protection meant wearing a helmet?

ï»¿ When the worst things you could get from boys were cooties?

Dads shoulders were the highest place onï»¿ earth and mom was your hero?

Your worst enemies were your siblings.

Race issues were about who ran the fastest.

War was only a card game.

And the only drug you knew was cough medicine.

When wearing a skirt didnt make you a slut.

The most pain you felt was when you skinned your knees, and goodbyes only meant until tomorrow?

And we couldnt wait to grow up..."

Wow!!! (: -Dezzi Baby (this was not written by me) but seriously think abouth this :P

what is it?

obviously guys like a certain girl,for some certain reason,physically or emotionally.i'm confused :/

why does a guy like a girl?:

is it the long wavy hair?

it is the eyes?

is it a certain body part?

is it that they giggle like idiots at stuff that isn't even funny?

is it their face?

is it their personality?

is it something specific they do to make you happy?

is it girls dumbing them-selves down so guys care more?

is it their voice?

is it how they act?

I'm so confused about why the hell guys like girls for certain things :/ Help Me D:

-Dezzi Baby(:

Spanish? :P

oh the confusing language of spanish(: mexicans understand it :D obviously

"La verdad no se como estaras
O si encontraste en alguien mas
Lo que al final no supe darte
Y que tal vez lo merecias
Y esto lo digo sin rencor
Aunque yo eh sido el perdedor

Es que mis heridas nunca sanaran
Este vacio sigue igual
Como la tarde que arrancaste
Lo mas hermoso de mi vida
Mi corazon no late igual
Creo que pretende renunciar

Hasta la fecha no e encontrado
Quien me quiera
Por que tu ausencia me persigue
A donde sea
Es tan dificil respirar
Por que hasta el aire me hace mal

Necesito mas de ti
Quiero que sepas que te amo
Que si me ahogo en el dolor
Es por la falta de tu amor

Necesito mas de ti
De las caricias de tus manos
Maldito orgullo que mato
De golpe nuestra relacion

Hasta la fecha no encontrado
Quien me quiera
Por que tu ausencia me persigue
A donde sea
Es tan dificil respirar
Por que hasta el aire me hace mal

Necesito mas de ti
Quiero que sepas que te amo
Que si me ahogo en el dolor
Es por la falta de tu amor

Necesito mas de ti
De las cariacias de tus manos
Maldito orgullo que mato
De golpe nuestra relacion

Necesito mas de ti"

Dezzi Baby(: